In Lieu of Flowers by Shawna Lemay Although I love flowers very much, I won’t see them when I’m gone. So in lieu of flowers: Buy a book of poetry written by someone still alive, sit outside with a cup of tea, a glass of wine, and read it out loud, by yourself or to someone, or silently. Spend some time with a single flower. A rose maybe. Smell it, touch the petals. Really look at it. Drink a nice bottle of wine with someone you love. Or, Champagne. And think of what John Maynard Keynes said, “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne.” Or what Dom Perignon said when he first tasted the stuff: “Come quickly! I am tasting stars!” Take out a paint set and lay down some colours. Watch birds. Common sparrows are fine. Pigeons, too. Geese are nice. Robins. In lieu of flowers, walk in the trees and watch the light fall into it. Eat an apple, a really nice big one. I hope it’s crisp. Have a long soak in the bathtub with candles, maybe some rose petals. Sit on the front stoop and watch the clouds. Have a dish of strawberry ice cream in my name. If it’s winter, have a cup of hot chocolate outside for me. If it’s summer, a big glass of ice water. If it’s autumn, collect some leaves and press them in a book you love. I’d like that. Sit and look out a window and write down what you see. Write some other things down. In lieu of flowers, I would wish for you to flower. I would wish for you to blossom, to open, to be beautiful. Happy Birthday #1

I realized recently that Kevin's funeral was the first Ryan family gathering I've ever been to without the "long time ago" speech. Tempted as I was to get up and let my best Kevin impression fly, I wasn't sure how that would be received in mixed company. It was striking though to realize that for all 28+ years of my life, and probably longer, Kevin stood up at every family gathering and told the story of how we all got there. Yes, the speech was often punctuated (heckled) by playful interjections, and calls of "alright can we eat now?" as he waxed poetic on the family lore, but these toasts are probably one of the things I'll miss most about my Uncle. He was actually our family oral historian in those speeches, reminding us of what we were there to celebrate & the people we owed that celebration to, and more than anything I hope we don't let that toast go.